Her

What would a blog be without the soppy post about an ex.

So to give you some history. I was in highschool and was quite active on a mobile chat system (Remember kids, chatrooms are what we called them before it became "social media")

Through another friend on this system I got the contact for a woman, lets call her A. She and I started talking and through this got to know eachother very well. This is one thing I can credit social media for, and if you read my post on social media you should see my thoughts on this. However it allowed me to open up to her and vice versa. This grew into what I would cal an intense love for her.

So eventually this woman and I met. And what can I say, everything I had pictured about her was true (Although I was 19 at the time so ya...)
From there on it was a really intense relationship. Especially considering that we were doing this over a distance.

Eventually I finished with my studies and started working. I worked very long hours for very little money, and this obviously put a huge strain on our relationship. But I was doing it for us. I had also developed a drinking problem and was later that year delcared a full blown alcoholic. This she never knew, and if she's reading this she now knows. I'm sorry.

She eventually had enough and left me (rightly so) it was then that the drinking began... and up until last year it never really stopped. I still drink from time to time. But not nearly on the scale that I used.

Recently she said she still loved me and wished that we could be together. I am now engaged and very happily so...

Had I not been engaged, I still know that this wouldn't work between us. Our history and our differences make us worlds apart. Im am now ready to settle down. House kids white picket fence the whole enchalada, I know for a fact that she isn't.

My fiance is quite possibly the reason I am still alive. She was my saving grace when I didn't know I needed one. If she decides to leave me I don't quite know what I will do. I am alone in this world without her.

Family is there but I am very estranged from them. Especially since my father's passing. I am moving to a new city in December, so without her, I am completely and utterly alone... kinda sad...